In October I experienced another loss. I had miscarriage number 4. It was a horrible day that I'll never forget. This time I felt the grief from all the other times I have lost a baby. I think that I was to hard on myself and moved on with life way to quickly with my other miscarriages. I always recognized that I lost a baby but on the outside I made everyone think I was ok and had everything under control. Slowly my emotions and body just couldn't take it anymore and I lost it. Thankfully I was able to take time off of work and just grieve the way I needed to. I still hurt but I know that Gods story for my life is being written through my grief and healing. Through my story I hope I can use this time to encourage others who are experiencing the same pain.
Medically I do not have answers so please do not ask why this is happening. My prayer is that God would heal my body so that I can experience the joy of pregnancy and child birth. Many of you did not know I have been going through this. I guess I just really wanted to grieve and not sugar coat my feelings. When I talk about my loss in person a lot of times I just tell people I am ok so that I don't have to talk about it. When in fact I probably would be miserable on the inside. I know that for the ones who know me personally you are sorry and even if I didn't tell you personally your love and support through the last few years has got me through this time. My Hope is in the Lord and He will renew my strength.
Adoption is our hearts and we are so excited to be in the process of waiting for that very special phone call. We are praying and trusting our Father with his perfect timing. We are learning to enjoy this time as just Jared and I before a new season begins. Thank you all for your support and prayers for our adoption. We cannot wait to share with all of you the Blessing God has in store for our family.
Many have asked what they can pray for during this time. And the answer is this: Please pray that God would teach us to wait well. That we would be patient through this time and we would use this time to learn everything we can about infant and toddler adoptions. Please also pray for our birth mom. We have no clue what she is going through or what situations she might be in. Please pray for her safety and her health and that she would have someone in her life that can help guide her through this time. Please also pray for the birth father. Birth fathers if present in the relationship also go through a lot as they are also choosing to give their baby a different life. Pray he also has someone in his life who can walk him through this difficult choice.
We are still raising money and a few ways this is happening is through our amazing adoption merchandise. You can see everything we have for sale at the top of this page in our adoption is beautiful merchandise page. We are also collecting bottles at my parents house and will take another load in November when we are home. Our newest fundraiser is my cousin is having an Epicure party at my moms on November 17th and 7pm. A potion of the proceeds will go towards our fund raiser. If you can't make it but would like to place an order please let me know and I can get a brochure to you. Thank you for all of your support. Jared and I are truly blessed to have you part of our journey!
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
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